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comin’ back home to who you are, evangelical?
Evangelical, what’s in a name? It’s funny how you get these names. I don’t recall signing up to be an evangelical. It just happened. Well, not quite. I was a Jesus freak. But you can’t escape history, especially not with a religion whose founder was God coming into history and wearing it like a tool apron. Who would want to take off what he put on? So you find yourself or that community of people that you’re part of, I don’t know, slowing down just long enough to let history catch up with you.
Jesusified
And the history that caught up with me and the people I identified with was evangelical history. The history of religious awakenings, Jesus style in England and the United States–the great awakenings, first and second and whatever else came along. These are the people swept into Jesus, so to speak. Something happens TO them. They get Jesusified.
I remember one night reading Three Gospels, by Reynolds Price, and my eyes got hold of the word Jesus on the page in Times New Roman or whatever the font was and I got stuck there. Just looking at his name. Probably for ten minutes. Man, do I have a bad case, I thought to myself. I’m stuck on Jesus. Is there a name for this in the Psychiatric Diagnosis Manual? My brother-in-law, a skeptic at the time, said to me in the car, “You’re really into this Jesus thing aren’t you?” I think he meant excessively, but my case was and is so bad that I took at as the ultimate compliment.
Oh how I wish Jesus freak were a more widely recognized tag. Something you could claim as your own and people would nod knowingly.
all that baggage
But evangelical also fits. Oh, I know there’s all that baggage. I came to faith at the age of 19 in 1971. If it were 2009 instead of 1971 and you said to my unbelieving self just before coming to faith, “You’re about to become an evangelical– watch it boy!” I think I’d go running and screaming in the opposite direction. I’d probably run to the local Buddhist temple to prevent the infection from setting in. I’d put on a robe, sit on a pillow, light a candle, close my eyes and focus on Lord Jesus. No other deities for me, thank you. Just don’t call me that nasty word, please.
But here I am. An evangelical. And I can’t shake it.
People come along and they try to tell you what evangelical means. It means you need to use certain words to describe your “view of Scripture.” You need to ascribe to the ten pillars of evangelicalism. You need to give the right answers when quizzed on the political-theological wedge issues: “What do you think of this or that–yes or no? Say “shibboleth” correctly or we’ll assume you’re not from around here!” As if “evangelical” means you’re part of the moral majority and if you don’t walk in lock step, you’re part of the immoral minority.
the beautiful thing about being evangelical
But that’s the beautiful thing about being an evangelical. I don’t think anyone’s allowed to do that. There’s no pope anyone has agreed to give the power of movement definition to. Sure there are various organizations, but they are just that, organizations. None of ‘em can put a fan on and get the evangelical wind blowing–that just happens when it happens and there’s no finding that switch here on earth.
I’m an evangelical because I listen to Billy Graham (the older, the better) and think to myself–whatever got hold of him, that’s what I trust too, for all the cultural differences between us. Or I read “On the Religious Affections” by Jonathan Edwards and it floors me. I read a Flannery O’Connor novel about the old South and the hero, always a literary Groteseque, is some mentally imbalanced religious nut of a Jesus variety and I feel like I get what it is they are afflicted with and am unwilling to give up mine too.
I realize I’m not doing a good job explaining this.
I want everyone to believe in Jesus. That’s it. I really do. I feel as though he won’t disappoint anyone. Call me naive.
It used to cow-tow me, this foreign thing that has weaseled it’s way into the American evangelical movement, where self appointed hall monitors check your orthodoxy like the Religious police checking for proper skirt length.
But then I just laughed at myself for ducking. I know that my redeemer liveth and he will stand one day on the earth! If that ain’t good enough for you, brother, well accept my insincere apologies.
come back home to who you are
Evangel. Good news bearer. Blessed is the one who brings good news, tidings of peace, assurance that your time of suffering is enough. Enough already. Come back home, the door’s open–back or front, either one.
That’s it for me, Evangelical.
Tags: billy graham, buddhist, evangelical, flannery o'connor, good news, identity, immoral minority, Jesus, jonathan edwards, literary grotesque, moral majority, politics, psychatric diadnosis manual, reynolds price, shibboleth, theology, wedge issues
January 5th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Ken, It is good that you can identify yourself so proudly. I think what is so hard for many Christians is the negative tag that comes long with the term “Evangelical”, mostly in terms of being judgmental or self-right etc. God has created us all so different so I think sometimes that term gets lost in it’s objective to be an example of Christ’s love.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Cassady, Amen, Sister! It’s our job to make sure that changes in our lifetime! (yours anyway, that gives us all more time!)
January 5th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Ken, I was totally with you until you used the term “cow-tow”….what the cow-patty does that mean?!?!
Keep working things out and sharing your story. Have you ever thought about doing some video blog posts???
January 5th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Phil, Cow tow (pronounced cow – tow as in “tow-el”)
I think it’s when a cow kinda kneels down on one knee–obescance, kinda word, though that is misspelled. Video–that would take technology and looks, scary on both fronts….
January 6th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Kowtow is a Chinese word for showing deep respect by bowing down on your knees until your head touches the floor. (Or so says wikipedia).
January 6th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Ken said:”I want everyone to believe in Jesus. That’s it. I really do. I feel as though he won’t disappoint anyone. Call me naive.”
Now that’ll preach. Great words!
January 6th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
“i think its when a cow kinda kneels down…”
close, but no cigar,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kowtow
Kowtow (traditional Chinese: Kau tàuh) is the act of deep respect shown by kneeling and bowing so low as to touch the head to the ground. An alternative Chinese term is ketou (Chinese: 磕頭; pinyin: Kētóu); however, the meaning is somewhat altered: kòu originally meant “knock with reverence”,[citation needed] whereas kē has the general meaning of “touch upon (a surface)”.[citation needed]
In Han Chinese culture, the kowtow is the highest sign of reverence. It was formerly widely used to show reverence for one’s elders, superiors, and especially the Emperor, as well as for religious and cultural objects of worship. In modern times, usage of the kowtow has become much reduced.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
“It used to cow-tow me, this foreign thing that has weaseled it’s way into the American evangelical movement, where self appointed hall monitors check your orthodoxy like the Religious police checking for proper skirt length.”
Please explain. Do you mean that you used to submit to the authority of the self-appointed hall monitors? How? Did you ever succomb to the temptation to act like a self-appointed hall monitor yourself? Just wondering…
January 8th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Hi Ken,
I think you did a lovely job explaining it- especially the come back home to who you are part. Evangel- good news bearer. I like it- although it does feel like a lot of reponsibility (especially this morning). I admit since leaving the lutheran church for vineyard I’ve had a hard time explaining “what I am” because I really didn’t like the term evangelical either. I have described myself as a Jesus freak and received that knowing nod of the head- it just didn’t feel very complimentary. Lately I’ve not even been comfortable saying I’m a christian- there’s a lot of junk associated with that too. The closest I’ve been able to come up with is follower of Jesus but that seems to lack something. Maybe I’ll stick with Jesus freak and let them nod their heads.
eva
January 8th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Ken,
I’m with you, brother. I know that my redeemer liveth. I know that I know. Now I hear colleges students in our fellowship at the University of Illinois say they afraid of any titles … Christian, evangelical, emergent, post-emergent, blah, blah, blah. “Just call me a follower of Jesus.” Does that make them Christian? I certainly hope so. Are they evangelical? I think so. … Old Jesus freaks like me (my 19-year-old says “Huh?”) have to decrease while the 20-somethings increase. When I came to faith I somehow stumbled [God's grace, I'm sure] upon John Stott (nobody under 30, maybe even 40 has ever heard that name) and read almost every book he wrote. I read the “Cross of Christ” twice and thought, “Yea baby, that’s what I am.” …
To the 20-somethings I say, “Hang with Jesus. Read his words. Listen for his voice. Look for Jesus sightings. Say his name. Believe in him by faith. Say the Apostles’ creed (I believe in Jesus Christ his only son our Lord …who was conceived by the Holy Spirit).”
You are our brothers and sisters. We need you … Christians, evangelicals, Jesus followers, whatever … we must stand together in the name of Jesus for the duration of the fight. DD
January 8th, 2009 at 11:08 am
In the day when Ken first called himself a Jesus freak, when people asked him things like “You’re really into this Jesus thing aren’t you?”, I wonder what his cultural focus was? Ken, can you help? Did you campaign against the Vietnam War? Were you just tuning in to Jesus, and tuning everything else out? Did the Jesus freaks care about political/cultural issues, or was it just Jesus? What does a Jesus freak who is in the 18-24 age range look like and care about today? And if they exist, how do they compare with the Jesus freaks of the past?
On the term evangelical, within my circles of influence this term doesn’t mean much. People always want to know if you are one of those “bible reading/believing” Christians. And if you are, the eyes begin to roll and they automatically assume you are a right wing fanatic. When you do the “main and the plain” of following Christ, praying, reading scripture, obeying and doing what it says, our culture thinks you are wacked.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
gem (and other commenters), I’ve wanted to respond to gem’s post in particular, but think I’ll make it a next post instead of a comment, drawing from other questions raised as well. Not sure how broad the interest is in this topic, but I’m interested and the questions and comments help.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Ken, I’m guessing that you were at one time a loyal follower of some hall monitors and that you were for awhile at least a junior hall monitor yourself. I’m curious about the details. I’ve heard on the grapevine that in the old days you used to be somewhat authoritarian in your views about shepherding and discipleship in your local church community…