ken wilson online

Saturday morning prayer is usually about the sermon. So rather than mediate on a psalm (4 is up next) I let things spin out from the sermon, third in the happiness series on the role of focused attention through gratitude and pondering-dwelling on the good as forms of meditation. Mechanics of prayer this morning: lit a candle, read over the sermon notes based on Philipians 4: 1-9, then closed eyes and gave myself over to the focused attention practice of gratitude (meaning decided to spend a chunk of time in prayer to let my mind/heart/brain focus on things I’m thankful for.)

Every time I do this, I wonder why don’t I do this every chance I get?

This morning the gratitude fest (no speaking aloud, btw, just focusing attention) began with people in my life who have been supportive of a big to me project: writing a book for a large publisher. While it’s fun, actually, for me to write (properly understood) the project has it’s strains: finding the time, balancing priorities, wondering who I’m going to offend that will come back to haunt me, investing in marketing efforts, getting blurbs, mailing galleys, blah, blah, blah. Mainly feeling out of my depth. So it was a high impact exercise to call to memory/mind/brain/heart various individuals who have been sent my way to be enormously supportive. A literary agent, another gifted-experienced writer, someone else familiar with publishing, Nancy (my wife) who has been so supportive, others, staff and family members….

This led to gratitude for various people who have been supportive through a time of financial strain in the church. We’re in the one-state recession here in SE Michigan and have been for years now–steady job loss, population loss, biggest employer beside the University of Michigan leaving Ann Arbor this year (taking my daughter and son-in-law, arrgghh!). So the first quarter of our fiscal year [isn't this fascinating stuff--welcome to the concerns of a pastor!] was about 20% down, first time in our history.

I’m not wired to be an accountant or financial planner, so having people more gifted in these things around me–other pastors on staff, and board members especially, all of whom I trust and admire–just parked my mind on those people one at a time, in gratitude. It’s allowed me not to grind my mind over the finances continually, but to go from meeting to meeting (with board, other staff) setting a course of action, and executing. Left to my own devices in a time of financial strain, I would just naturally worry more or constantly. And while worry has been crouching at the door, it’s not had the usual entrance.

This above paragraph, of course, is explanation for the gratitude, not the gratitude itself. The gratitude itself in the prayer was more just dwelling on each person, feeling good-thankful for them, savoring that….remarkably, not slipping into thinking about the challenge of finances, but simply returning my attention to the people for whom I’m grateful. Effortless, actually. But I’ve done this before and I think the neural pathways have been strengthened. For which I’m also grateful.

Then on to my kids one by one, practicing this focused attention of gratitude. Which means when the thoughts stray from gratitude to analysis, concern about a tough situation one of the kids is facing, or the usual parental problem solving kid thinking syndrome, just gently abandoning that thought to pay attention to the loved one, and that for which I’m grateful. Surprisingly, in the middle of that something like a creative inspiration emerged concerning one of my kids (there should be a more dignified word for adult children) that I intend to explore…..gratitude must open up the creative process somehow. I’ll bet. Get on that neuroscientists.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 19th, 2008 at 7:53 am and is filed under happiness, the praying brain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.